just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
