I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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