I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize