craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
