HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
