Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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