Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
