I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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