Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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