i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
