Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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