So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
