My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
