one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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