I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Please, let me fuck your mom
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
