I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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