Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
