Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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