I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
