mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
