i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
