you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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