You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
