I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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