Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
