Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
