my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
