That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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