Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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