it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
