im having a threesome with these popsicles
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
