I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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