Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
