You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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