its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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