dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
