so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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