she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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