Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
