this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
