you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
