Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
