Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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