That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
3pm strippers are depressing
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
