Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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