Don't you send me to vm
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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