as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
