The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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