So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
