I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i came on her dog
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
